A Quick Word about Fiasp

When the endo told us about this new amazing insulin that was going to come out over 6 months ago, we were really excited. We are told so many things about how the newest devices and insulin are going to be SOO amazing that I'll admit, I was kinda skeptical. The endo handed us a free sample a little over a month ago and I am very happy to say that I absolutely LOVE this new insulin!

We have been using it in Emily's pump now for about a month. The first thing I did was dial all her settings back. WAaaay back. I was scared that just a tiny bit would have her bg plummeting. I was wrong. I know several people so far that have been using Fiasp. Some hate it some love it. Here is what we have experienced so far......(your diabetes may vary)

I have always tried to pre bolus for Emily's meals. I'll admit I'm not always good at it. Mostly because when she wants to eat, the food starts going in the mouth much faster then me and my trusty Ping remote. I'm lucky if I can c…

Just a Small Token of Appreciation

Every year I make a video as a thank you of sorts to JDRF. I think about all the good that has come from Emily being diagnosed. Sounds strange but it's true. I really didn't have but a couple friends here. Neither did Emily. Once she was diagnosed I reached out to JDRF for help. I met a ton of parents and people who not only understood exactly how I was feeling but accepted us as apart of their own family.

Emily became a Youth Ambassador and after a few years I became a volunteer mentor to newly diagnosed families. It has given us not only purpose but a community. I am so grateful for that.

So if making a little video once a year helps to raise a little money to fund technology, research, and maybe, just maybe that one thing we all so desperately are hoping for....a cure. Then I'm glad I could help.

The Rise of the D Mom

When you're a mom you are called many things, mommy, mama, mom, mother. When your child is diagnosed with type one diabetes you are called a D mom. It makes it easy to refer to others as "D mom" too. I used to think that was weird at first, but now I wear it with pride. No mom wants to be a "D mom", but here we are. A new world of type one and new and foreign words are now a part of your daily vocabulary. What does it mean to be a D mom exactly?

To be a D mom you need to be strong, determined, and packed with enough empathy to run over a mack truck. You must remain unfazed when you inject your screaming or wiggly child with a needle over and over....and over again. You cannot freak out over the site of blood and you must posses a poker face to things like your child asking why they have to be different and not like everyone else. You wear your heart on your sleeve but if you fall apart so will your child.

To be a D mom you must be able to function as if you are…

The Land of What Ifs

It happened today, Emily's Dexcom receiver and phone blanked out while she was at summer care. She had just asked for a snack, she was 78 and I had her bolus knowing she would be eating. I was unsure of this decision but figured her numbers would reappear on my phone any minute. After 10 minutes when the numbers didn't appear I started to panic. Was she going down when I gave her the bolus? What if right now she was going down then the insulin I gave her will bring her down even more? It already started. The what ifs took over and I sank into that dark place that no D parent lets themselves go.
I'll admit that I had a very long grieving period once Emily was diagnosed. I couldn't get past the sadness. It has been awhile since I felt dark feelings but in in this moment it was all I was feeling.
10 more minutes went by and the fear and panic enveloped me. I began bawling in the middle of work. Once I started I couldn't stop. I cried for all the times I didn't. I …

What Brings Me Down

This topic sadly is easy for me. Ever since the day Emily was diagnosed I have been struggling. Yes it has gotten better but inside I feel like a mess. I have come to realize that I am deeply affected by the numbers I see on the Dexcom. Example, when Emily's numbers are in range I feel happy and relaxed. The moment they go out of range I am anxious and annoyed. When they are low I feel afraid. I cannot relax not even for a second. When her numbers are high I am mad, especially if I caused it by over correcting a low. Guilt consumes me as I think "I can't believe I let this happen!"

When she has site changes or Dex changes my heart races and I am filled with dread. "Will it hurt her this time?" "Will she cry and scream?" I have no way of knowing what reaction is going to come, and when it is bad guilt consumes me. I know I have to hurt her to take care of her whether it be a simple finger prick or a device change and that feeling just plain sucks. …

The Cost of A Chronic Illness

Life was good. Bills were being paid. There was even money left over for things, you know the things you don't really need but want really really badly. Ahh...this was the moment my little family of three had waited so long for.
Then came an unexpected diagnosis. The big D. The good life was gone in an instant. The first blow was the uncovered hospital bill. Thanks insurance! It was a slap in the face. They said Emily being hospitalized in DKA was not medically necessary. WTF??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???
Yep. Slap in the face #2, the giant brown bag of prescriptions. Serious it was a grocery store brown bag. Then the new Dr. in our lives Mr. Endo. Luckily insurance was nice enough to give us a copay for that.
Fast forward 4 months. I kept hearing about this thing we HAD to have. A Dexcom....then two months later a insulin pump. By month number six into this new normal we were drowning. I started using my credit card to pay for everything. Thanks to this new spending the credit…

Diabetes and the Unexpected

The first year after Emily was diagnosed felt impossible. If you are not organized, get ready because you are about to be the most overly organized person you know. Thinking ahead is now your new normal. Gone are the days of leaving the house with your purse and keys...and the child. Must not forget the child. You will have juice boxes and smarties. Needles, pump supplies, wet wipes, alcohol pads, insulin, test strips, glucagon, bg meter....crap did I forget anything? I did say the child right?

So here we are. Two and a half years in and yes you still need to make sure you have at least the important things, but the fear of forgetting some things is gone. You throw a fruit roll up or fruit snacks in your bag. Grab the pump remote and go.
Diabetes is a sneaky sucker though. A low can happen out of nowhere.

This weekend we went on our first family trip since before Emily was diagnosed. We were at Universal Studios having a great time when the Dex started to go off. 89 double down. We we…