The D in Emily

I understand that people are just trying to be helpful, but trying to push me to push my child into managing her own type one just pisses me off! I know there are a lot of children, even younger then my own that take to diabetes management right away. I think that's great, and have no issues with children that are more mature in doing so. Now that E is 9, more and more people keep asking me why she can't do her own management? "why can't she put her own pump site on?" BECAUSE SHE ISN'T READY!!!! Period. She is a happy go lucky child without a care in the world. She wants to play with her toys, her friends, go to the park. She doesn't want to think about this never ending asshole disease that never gives her a break. She has zero interest in how her pump works, what insulin is, or how any of her devices keep her alive. She just wants to be a regular kids and eat Oreo's and play Robloxs. If you were to ask her right now what type one diabetes is, sh...

When you're a mom you are called many things, mommy, mama, mom, mother. When your child is diagnosed with type one diabetes you are called a D mom. It makes it easy to refer to others as "D mom" too. I used to think that was weird at first, but now I wear it with pride. No mom wants to be a "D mom", but here we are. A new world of type one and new and foreign words are now a part of your daily vocabulary. What does it mean to be a D mom exactly? To be a D mom you need to be strong, determined, and packed with enough empathy to run over a mack truck. You must remain unfazed when you inject your screaming or wiggly child with a needle over and over....and over again. You cannot freak out over the site of blood and you must posses a poker face to things like your child asking why they have to be different and not like everyone else. You wear your heart on your sleeve but if you fall apart so will your child. To be a D mom you must be able to function as if you ...

I was watching a commercial today. A mother's day commercial for mom's that have children with sick kids. Ultimately it was made to reflect the pain that mother's go through caring for children with cancer. There were tears and depression, a mom screaming in her car. I could so relate to all of this. I try very hard to not show type one in a negative light, but to always show the perseverance and strength that can come from it instead. This commercial spoke to me though. I wanted to share it with the world to show the pain and sadness that we go through while putting on a brave face for the rest of the world to see. The first year was so hard for me, I almost thought I would never feel real joy again. Slowly I came around, but the sadness is still there. The tears are still there. The other night I was changing Emily's pod, when the cannula was inserted she screamed out in pain. I held her as she cried her eyes out. I felt helpless and guilty. These are the moments th...

Ever since type 1 diabetes came into our lives 1 year and 4 months ago, there is never a time diabetes is not in my head. When I go to work I spend my day watching numbers, calling the nurse/FASA-insurance company-diabetes supply companies, Dr. offices, reading articles and blogs, watching videos, and trying to soak up any shred of helpful information that might make tomorrow a better day for my daughter. I get jealous of my husband as I know his day if full of work and stress but very little of diabetes. He may watch her numbers here and there but his head is not consumed. I feel like I need to absorb as much as humanly possible so I can understand, so I can face tomorrow with new knowledge. There is so much I do not understand. I still haven't figured out how certain foods are broken down in the body. Fats, carbohydrates....slow carbs, fast carbs, glycemic index, it makes my head hurt. Why the hell can't I figure out how to set a damn temp basal? I mean yes I...