Light Sleeper

I have never been that person that misses the thunderstorm or didn't hear that noise. I have a curse it's called light sleeping. Since before cupcake was conceived I was always the one that woke up for alarms or noises. It was a very natural thing once cupcake was born that I be the one that responds and reacts to hearing her. Soft crying or noises in her sleep  I am awake like a bugle just went off next to me. So when she was diagnosed it was natural for me to be the one to get up for night time checks. I sleep with the Dexcom next to me and an iPod and alarms are set for one to two hours throughout the entire night even on weekends. There are times I have slept past the alarms and the guilt that takes over me lasts for days. When she came home from the hospital I'll admit that I was so naive to diabetes I did't set my alarms and checks at night. I trusted in the overnight insulin to do its job. Then a few months in we got her a Dexcom. Sleeping without constant worry ended right at that moment. When you can see that your sweet baby goes high to super low and back to a somewhat regular number it will make the deepest sleeper set alarms. I didn't understand how serious diabetes is. Their life literally is in your hands. You cannot screw up!
Its is almost midnight. We have had one of those awesome nights when not only the Dexcom crapped out to ??? then add on that her insulin shit the bed and she was headed toward 400 faster then I could comprehend. Pump site change and a Dex restart and here I am. Just me, the dog and the soft glow of the TV.
I am chronically exhausted. I cannot compare to what cupcake deals with. Most nights her sleep is interrupted as well as I poke her sweet little toe while she sleeps. Many nights she is awakened out of a deep sleep to sip on a juice box. I am tired, but I can never truly understand her struggle.
The next alarm is in 20 minutes. Until then.....


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